My First Month

So, I know understand why the program requirement is to write a blog post every 2 weeks. It would probably be impossible to do it weekly, or every other day. So much happens in a short amount of time while we are abroad and to try to document every moment of it is implausible. I am just really glad I remembered to do it today.
I have been in Jordan for a month now, and to be completely honest, it has not been a smooth transition. At first the culture shock and the new scenery was awe capturing and was all so new, every day was exciting and new. But, as we settled into our routine at school and have gotten used to the people and the city, it has become difficult to reconcile the fact that I miss my family and my friends back in Orlando. I struggled last week, and even contemplated saying “it was a good run, but I am done”. However, after a tearful discussion with my mom the conclusion was simply “you don’t have enough money to buy a plane ticket home, so you’re out of luck kid”. I appreciate those words more than anything right now. We push through, we must. One of my friends told me this summer while we were in Rwanda “travel changes you”, and it really does. I am the only one to venture this far from the States in my family and I can feel the change that happens. My independence and comfortability being on my own has intensified, it had to. I have to navigate and travel through a city where I barely speak the language and really am trying my best to understand the culture (one thing I know for sure is to NOT sit in the front seat of a taxi as a woman). It changes the way you see yourself, or at least it has for me.
My broken Arabic makes it difficult to communicate with taxi drivers or store clerks or just general people I meet on the street. Communication is something that I have definitely taken for granted and the struggle to learn another language in a new country (like immigrants learning English in America) is something I never appreciated. But I have not once been scoffed at or have had someone talk down to be because I don’t speak Arabic, instead, the people laugh and support my efforts. And at the end of every conversation I am told “Welcome to Jordan!”. The level of kindness and welcoming to me, a foreigner, has been overwhelming and confusing. Are people generally like this? It is a cultural aspect of Arabs I never read about in a book, how could I? You have to experience and see it for yourself.
I have pretty much grown immune to the 4:30am call to prayers that ring through the city, which is nice considering that’s really early. But I cannot help but feel the connection to my religion when I hear the Adhan (ادان) called by the muezzin (موزن), singer of the Adhan. It reminds me of the organs and the choir before mass, the solemn yet romantic connection to the Church I feel as I walk by the Mosque every night during the Adhan, just to listen and appreciate.
Yesterday we had an opportunity that almost no one in the world has had, we visited Zaatari Refugee Camp. The largest Syrian refugee camp in Jordan, hosting more than 79,000 people and with over 490,000 people that has passed through the camp in the 4-5 years of its establishment. We were lucky enough to talk with families, visit the operational facilities within the camp run by NGO’s like World Food Program, UNICEF, Norwegian Refugee Council, UNHCR, among countless others. The work these organizations do is incredible, along with the work of the Jordanian government. However, it is obvious it not enough. How could it be? These are people coming out of war and the loss of their livelihoods, with no reconciliation or ending in sight. The camp is so over capacity more camps have had to be created just to stop the overcrowding in Zaatari. Children are born in the camp every week; one estimate was at 80 per week. One of our stops was to the playground and instantly we were surrounded by children wanting to play. I played (and got totally beat) by 10-year-old boys playing football. One child stuck out to me, he was probably around 7 or 8, and he was completely mute. He did not say one word, and his head was completely bandaged. I don’t know anything about his story but I can guess. That’s what sucks, you can guess what’s happening to these families, these children. The death and destruction is all around them and they carry it as scars on their head, first bandaged up and healing, but always with a reminder of the suffering that has happened in their life. It is an impossible situation for many people. But one thing I noticed and has given me hope throughout the whole experience is the resiliency of humanity. Regardless of the amount of suffering or hardship the Syrian families experience, they are still living and they still have hope for the future.
One family I had the opportunity to speak with told me a story about how they ended up in Zaatari, and life before the war. They were devastated that the situation is now their daily life, obviously. How can you not be after going from a comfortable living to caravans in a camp outside your own country? But when we asked them about their situation all they said was that the health and safety of their children (4 boys) is the only thing that matters. They are willing to sacrifice and give up anything in their life to protect their family. They are happy to have food, shelter, water and safety for their kids.
And I got it, for the first time I finally got it. Humans are the most incredible and resilient species (relatively speaking). We have to be, we must adapt, we must evolve, we must have a purpose. We all struggle every day, and it does not matter whether it is in a refugee camp or with depression/PTSD or just with a crummy day, we are all struggling in our own way. How we respond is what matters. The ability to continue living is a victory. Life is beautiful.

I have high hopes for the next 2 weeks, a trip to Badia (rural, traditional region of Jordan) to stay and learn for 6 days and excursions around Jordan mixed with exploration of Amman and wherever else we find ourselves. This is why we travel. This is why we are here. Until then! I cannot wait to update you all on what else happens!