When you begin to write and explain an experience, along the way you come to realize that by recording the experience you begin to miss out on what is really happening around you.
The first few weeks I spent ambling around in Kyoto and the Kansai area I was stricken with a clear feeling that “Japan was for the Japanese”. I felt a process at work here and was privileged to step back and quietly observe and record from afar. Two months of teeming through the barriers and I was beginning to feel outnumbered and unable to keep up – or maybe my ambition was growing and the end of October was the beginning of those growing pains.
Then I saw Tokyo.
It is true that I didn’t know my own culture until experiencing the culture of another’s. The same can be said between the Kansai and Kanto regions. I won’t describe Tokyo any further than this – two months have passed and I’m still mulling over what I discovered there. When I am home compiling my thoughts and my tapes, I will know better of what I found there.
What happened after Tokyo drove me mad. I was angry for weeks. Motivated. I saw a shade deeper into the traditional culture of Japan and my discoveries snowballed further. What I experienced I cannot describe in print because it would feel inappropriate and slanderous. But I also found some good here. I gave up on my role as the observer, became too frustrated to adopt the Samurai’s way and so I pressed on Japan with the full force of my own will. I ceased doing as the Japanese did. It was my way or the highway. And this way I found so many good friends in my last month. Adopting a “be smart but be yourself” strategy. Maybe “be yourself but don’t be stupid” is more accurate.
In the end, my persistence and the frustration that motivated me to break through these people’s walls led me to nights of enjoyment that I cannot describe but will have to for the sake of proof. Needless to say, I have spent the last months here experiencing rather than recording. The coming month’s publishing will be proof of that.
I found a new source of energy and confidence within Japan – now that I am on the eve of my leaving this place, I have also discovered a new feeling of tiredness and melancholy. I’ll leave you with this gem – a herald of my time to leave.
See you Space Samurai…