This entire idea of going to London for 6 months hasn’t really set in yet. I’ve been planning the trip for between 3 and 4 months and the entire time it has always been this abstract idea. Like, “oh yeah, I’ll go to London and see the museums and stuff” and, “I’ll go travel to different countries and meet foreign people.” But it has always been very not real. Why? Because I have literally never traveled in my entire life. I’ve been to Atlanta 3 times and some BFE town in Tennessee, but beyond that the extent of my travels has been between Ft. Lauderdale and Atlanta. Because of that, traveling doesn’t seem like a real thing that can actually happen to me, so I’m in for an adventure come 3:45pm tomorrow.
I’m feeling an interesting mixture of nostalgia, excitement, and nerves. Coming first to mind is the typical, “I’m going to miss ______ so much.” Particularly my best friend, my mom, and my cat and this sounds bad but I honestly don’t know how to live my life without them. My cat is with me every morning and night, period – no exceptions. My mom is a huge support in my life and my best friend James is literally the only person I talk to most of the day every day so thinking about life without them is super weird.
Onto the more real, deep stuff. I tried writing this a few days back being super eloquent and deep and philosophical, but honestly if I write like that I’ll never want to sit down and write anything. SO.. What I’m most nervous about is the fact that RT as he is right now will not exist the same way next week. I know that most of my perceptions will be challenged in ways that I never knew possible. I will be lost and not know what to do and faced with these weird challenges I didn’t know existed and I will be overwhelmed and all of that is going to make me grow real quick.
Last little point is on having nothing to do. For the first time ever I will have pretty much nothing that I NEED to do. No sports, no rehearsals, no job, no family to take care of, no animals to take care of, and fewer classes than I have ever taken. Although there will be so much to do in London, I’m really excited to spend some time doing nothing and being truly alone. I’ll be in a wonderful strange land where I know no one on the entire continent (for the first week or so, at least) and get to really dig into who I am. Should be grand.
RT