I have been back in Orlando for a little less than two weeks now. The truth is, I have heavily avoided writing this final blog post because I wasn’t ready to accept that my wonderful study abroad experience has come to an end. It’s hard to find the words to describe how my time in Spain has impacted me, but I’ll try my best.
The first couple of weeks in Spain, everything I saw and experienced was new and exciting. Since I had never been to Europe in general, I felt like I was living a dream or a movie. It was hard to grasp reality or keep myself grounded, which I don’t think was a bad thing. I was constantly absorbing information both consciously and subconsciously. As stated in my pre-departure blog, I chose Spain because I believed that the culture would be similar to mine as a Cuban. Although there are similarities in the food, mannerisms, and lifestyle, the differences are just as important.
Here in the United States, I have always struggled to define my identity. Sure, I was born here and carry an American passport, but I never felt fully embraced or accepted by my American peers. Interestingly enough, nobody I’d meet in Spain ever assumed I was American, instead they would immediately ask me what part of Latin America I’m from. Throughout the semester, I encountered people from countries such as Ireland, Germany, Bolivia, Brazil, and Poland. The friends I made were just as fascinated with me and what I had to offer, as I was with them. In a way, every interaction was a beautiful exchange of ideas, customs, and most of all: vocabulary words. I can’t even begin to count the times that I had to think of a Cuban word to match something being described by a Spaniard. For example, one day I was ordering French fries and struggled to explain a potato for five minutes because I was saying “papitas” instead of “patatas.”
Nonetheless, I don’t think I have ever felt so free to be myself.
In the least dramatic way possible, I want to say that these past 4 months have changed everything for me. I literally mean everything. Growing up, my goal was to get an education and build a life for myself. The emphasis was always on social status, economic level, and reaching the “American dream” to make my parents proud. Now I know that there is soooo much more that I want to get out of life. I want to travel, to experience, to fall in love over and over again, to raise my children in a place where they have a sense of security, to work in a field that aligns with my interests, to be able to enjoy the little moments, to do everything with a purpose, etc.
In Spain, I had the time and energy to go to cafes after class. I was able to pay attention to the smallest of details as I walked to every location. My listening skills improved with every conversation. Even my less productive days offered me a sense of satisfaction. I made lifelong friends. I fell in love. I embraced the culture while feeling more in tune than ever with my own. I know that I will be returning to Spain in the near future, whether on vacation, post undergrad, or to live for a couple of years. Most importantly, I’m ready to continue to step out of my comfort zone and take full advantage of each opportunity I’m offered. I’m forever grateful for this semester and my new home.