While sitting at JFK, I am having a lot of thoughts about leaving the country and what that means for me. I have never traveled internationally but I have made it to almost all of the fifty states. My constant reoccurring thoughts are what if they don’t let me through and I am held in the Gatwick airport till the end of time or what if they lose my baggage and I can never recover it.
Thinking about this opportunity to study abroad, I realize that I have an opportunity not a lot of people have. This is definitely something no one in my family has ever done before either. I am a first-generation college student and a first-generation student to graduate from high school, therefore this whole studying abroad thing is metaphorically and literally foreign. My parents weren’t fond of the idea at first and it was something that I had to talk them into. But, I think largely being a first-generation college student plays into my identity a lot.
Since I am the only one in my family to have made it into college, let alone made it to my junior year, I constantly feel pressure to do new things and try new things. I started by getting accepted into a nice private school and trying my best to succeed at everything that I do. While traveling internationally, I see it as an advantage because I will also feel this pressure from my family. I am sent abroad to do the best that I can and take all the classes and get good grades. While I do this, I am also expected to hold an internship of twenty plus hours a week. But, I also see this as a double-edged sword and worry that I won’t take full advantage of the abroad experience because I will be working so much on my internship and studies.
Some other identities I expect to explore is working on being the extrovert that I am. While a lot of people I see intentionally see me as an extrovert, I actually take a really long time to warm up to people and like to observe first. I think that being abroad will force me to push myself to be more vocal and talk to more people because I do not know a lot of people here and I am excited to make new friends and try new things.
The new people that I meet will come from different cultures even if it is just the west coast of the United States. I think that different identities are necessary to create a full picture. I am not perfect, and I do not know everything, therefore having people that have different life experiences and different world views is important to keep in your circle of friends. I hope that I can gain insight of different people’s perspectives through this trip since there is a lot of people studying in the CAPA Center from places like the New England area and the Midwest. As well as there are probably students from other countries, and I am excited to see how this group of students collaborates together.
Overall, I am cannot wait for this new journey of self-discovery, friendship, knowledge, and most important to me theater! I am about to take off on in just a few hours!!