As my program has made it past the halfway mark, I have recently reflected on the concept of “home” after returning from my spring break trip to Amsterdam and to Scotland. With spring break nearing, I remember being very excited to hope on the airplane and go, ready for another, farther adventure for the next few days. After four days in Amsterdam, my roommate and I made our way to Scotland for a weekend tour in the Highlands before flying back Monday morning before class. I was incredibly excited during each day of our travels, and do not regret going at all. I found it interesting, however, how I felt halfway through the trip and the feeling of homesickness I got. Not homesick for America, but for London and the life I had created there in the last two months. Upon my initial arrival to London, I spent the first few weeks excited to be there while also combating the anxiety of being so far from home. That feeling never really goes away, but subsides to the point of recognizing the grand scheme of things: being abroad, and living and working independently. While in Amsterdam, there were moments I found myself missing my bed back at “home,” meaning the bed back at my London housing flat as opposed to my true “home” back in America. I missed my morning walks to CAPA and seeing the family that runs the coffeeshop I frequent each time I travel to my internship. I missed going to the gym right after work, going to our flat’s usual haunts on a night out, and even grocery shopping. I had created a comfortable routine without even knowing it until I was without it. There was a sense confidence that had naturally developed during my two months here that, now that I am back in after returning from spring break, I feel more secure in. That feeling of being homesick for America still hasn’t truly gone away, and I do not suspect it ever will, but with each passing day I have learned to embrace that anxiety and fear as growing pains, which in turn has made me more independent and confident about the character I have developed while in London. I have grown a lot in my time here in ways that are only described through personal experience, and I will be forever grateful for it.
Moreover, living in the United Kingdom as the coronavirus epidemic has spread and grown has been a very unique experience. As two other CAPA programs, in China and Italy, have had the plug pulled on their study abroad experience, many of my flat mates, classmates, and myself included, have realized just how important it is to truly make the most of our remaining time here in London. We live with the feat that the next day could bring our program to a close, and that in turn has made us all the more appreciative of the opportunity we have been given, and not to waste that. On the other side of the coin, however, I have realized that making the most of this experience is not just going out each night and forcing wild adventures. While that is part of it, the other half is making yourself at home, and creating an actual type of life while living here. It’s becoming a regular at the coffeeshop you love and having the workers recognize you and expect you at a certain time of day, it’s knowing which tube line to take without having to resort to the app on your phone because you understand the system, it’s taking a walk in midday and listening/paying attention to the people around you who are living their everyday lives. Every day I fall a little more in love with London, and a little more in love with myself.
