Before arriving in England, I characterized the English as much more polite than Americans. For a while, I did not notice a big difference in their personality; I thought the opposite. As someone from the regional south in the US, the lack of small talk and smiling-in-passing contributed to my view of the British being shy and reserved. It wasn’t until about halfway through my study abroad that I started understanding the idea of British politeness from a different perspective. One experience that sparked this awareness was when one of my British friends asked if I could bring him a bandaid. For background, I joined the Lancaster University ‘boat club’, which is equivalent to our rowing team at Rollins. At 7 am on Tuesday and Friday mornings, a couple of other rowers and I would meet at the rowing machines and pull our pieces for the week. As rowers, we get a lot of blisters throughout training on the ergs and in the boats. One morning, I got a text from one of the guys who I erged with asking if I could bring him a bandaid. The text goes: “So I realise this is odd to ask… could you bring some tissues to the erg, please? I seem to have opened one of my blisters, and I’m bleeding on the erg handle.” My response was: “Of course! And do you want me to bring a bandaid too lol?”
After this interaction, I noticed that British politeness largely centered around the idea that asking someone to do something could make that person seem like a burden. If I were the one asking the question, I would have phrased it as: “Hi, could you bring me a bandaid, please?” I realized that my communication style tends to be frank, without feeling like I need to give a reason to add to my response. From my experience, my parents have always told me that “if you don’t know something – just ask.” I think this is where some of my English friends could view me as outspoken and outgoing because I am not hesitant to ask direct questions in class or public. To me, this was a significant cultural difference as being straightforward in my communication style is something that I’m used to, but the English can definitely be more subtle and indirect in terms of asking and answering questions.
Upon reflection, this cultural difference is attributed to how individuals approach respect and courtesy. These principles are emphasized more in British culture compared to the US and perpetuate the impression that the English tend to have a more reserved nature. From what I’ve noticed about myself in the US is that I love efficiency. As Americans, we tend to be busy individuals and place pressure on getting things done in a certain amount of time. As a result, I have become aware that I have a habit of being candid and unreserved in expressing my opinions and views. From this, I think that it’s really interesting to see how our culture can have such a significant impact on how we communicate with others.
