I had no idea I could feel such strong, contrasting emotions at the same time– fear and joy. I fear for the future, but I also have such a great feeling about my upcoming journey. I guess it’s normal to have mix feelings about living alone for the first time, in a different country no less. But I’m terrified I’ll miss my friends and family so much that I’ll want to go back or that I’ll hate the weather and want to leave as soon as I land. The anxiety comes in waves. One moment, I have a big grin on my face, planning and bragging about my four months in the UK. But the next minute, a flood of questions and worries continuously flow through my head. What if I don’t pack enough, or if I pack too much, or what if it’s all the wrong things? I keep myself busy with the less frightening issues, such as packing and the tedious details, because what really worries me is this one tsunami of a question: Can I live alone in a foreign country? I’ve lived in the same room for twenty years. I’ve always had my parents rush beside me in an emergency. And to be completely alone without their physical presence, is a terrifying thought. But, I also have an overwhelming sense that this is what I’m supposed to be doing. That I need to learn to be independent in this part of my life, in order to truly be an adult. And this semester abroad is exactly what I need to grow as a person, as well as help me for my future career. So I choose to wash away the anxieties and focus on the joyful emotions. The anticipation of new friendships and new memories that can and will last a lifetime. I get to travel across Europe and see sites that I might never see again. I will be experiencing a different culture and be exposed to a variety of diversity that will help me with communicating in any career I end up in. I will be hands-on in an internship that could possibly turn into my life after Rollins. I will be experiencing a once in a lifetime opportunity. Great memories and positive life-changing experiences aren’t worth it if it isn’t a little nerve-wracking, right?
