Coming back to the States was probably one of the hardest adjustments I’ve had to endure. It wasn’t just because I miss London and my friends in the program— because of course, I do— but it’s actually because I don’t see my home country the way I used to. Personally speaking, the familiar felt foreign. A place where I used to feel so comfortable, I now feel out of place. The people I knew the most now take time to adjust to my face again. However, I feel like these are common occurrences. I think what gives me the most unsettling feeling about being back is the realization of how different our cultures are and how it relates to acceptance of other people.
On the surface, London’s culture is not that different from ours. They listen to the same music, watch the same movies and shows, and speak the same language. However, their social cues and interactions are completely different from ours. Their normalcy is built on these unspoken rules of politeness and if you don’t follow them, they judge you for it. I didn’t realize how much of a “loud, bad mannered American” I was until I got loud with my friends on the tube. I had to reshape my blunt self into a vague, overly polite, soft-spoken woman during the work day (at night all hell breaks loose and they don’t care about anything— it’s truly a phenomenon). I trained myself to fit in because if I didn’t, no one would like me. That sounds judgmental and unfriendly on their part, however, I did notice London is the most welcoming city for people of color, gay, trans, non-gender conforming, etc. The majority of Londoners just didn’t care about peoples differences.
And that’s when I realized the vital difference between London and where I grew up in the States: London judges how you act, not for who you are— but the States judges you for who you are, not how you act.
This realization made me look at our country with resentment. Yes, London does take their social conduct to the extreme and they do have issues with Brexit. I’m not arguing that London is a Utopia but at least people were still accepted for who they are. Maybe it’s because our country is so young compared to theirs? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that I felt better there. I was in a place where guns were illegal and I felt safe when I heard loud pops. Now I jump at the sound of a car backfiring or fireworks. I was in a place where men could dress up as women anime characters and no one would look twice. Now I hear snickers when a man wears makeup.
I liked the freedom and I miss it every day when I hear the American news.