I started my first blog post on this site with “As I sit at home in Miami writing this, I am filled with shock and excitement.” It seems an appropriate way to begin this blog post too. I am back in Miami. I feel shock. I don’t feel excitement. I do feel at peace though. As everyone knows, my time in London was cut a month short due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I left London without doing so many things that I had planned to do. I had tickets to see Les Miserables two days before I ended up leaving London in a hurry. I never got to go to Persephone Books, a feminist publisher and bookshop near the West End. I never went to the shady Latin nightclub near my flat.
Despite all of this, I’m no longer sad. My perception of London within the three months that I was there changed dramatically and for the better. I experienced hardships – homesickness and a disheartening internship start – and I also experienced adventure – traveling to Cardiff with friends and exploring the LGBTQ culture in London. London was better than I ever expected it to be because it was real and alive and rainy and joyful and pessimistic, all in equal measures.
I believe my identity enriched my study abroad experience. As I mentioned in my first blog post, I come from a lower class, Cuban immigrant family. Travel was never really in the stars for us, but it was always in our hearts. The fact that I knew how unlikely studying abroad would be for me, and how much my mother longed to go to England in her youth, made me treasure this experience so much more than if I had grown up traveling my whole life. My circumstances did prevent me from traveling across Europe, like many of my classmates did, and that saddened me at first. However, I soon dedicated my time to exploring every bit of London I could find and that has made my memories so much sweeter and richer.
The thing I miss most of all is the British people. The way they see the world, with their dark humor and good-natured cynicism is so unique and so unlike the way Americans or even Cubans experience the world. I spent all of last night watching British morning shows and yearning for the unique British silliness mixed with their reservedness that you could not find on a show like Good Morning America. I even miss making tea and coffee for my coworkers. It took me so long to learn how to make it properly and now I haven’t made someone a drink in weeks!
I am not going to lie and say that I’m a completely different person now due to studying abroad. I’m still stubborn, impatient, and anxious. I still struggle with depression. I still value my family and loved ones above all else. Fundamentally, I am the same as I was before I left for another continent. However, I have changed in subtle ways. I appreciate the calm moments more. Before I lived in London, I had never fully experienced the city life and so I hated the quiet neighborhood I lived in. Now, while I miss big cities more than ever and am convinced I will live in one when I graduate, I am not so eager to leave home. I appreciate spending time with my mother more. I didn’t realize how much I missed the easy conversations that happen with my brothers. I like tea more than I ever did (in fact, don’t tell anyone but I used to hate tea!). These are small details that aren’t immediately obvious, but that would not have happened had I not gone to London. I am a fuller person because of that great city.