After an amazing semester in Jordan, I am back home in Orlando, struggling to re-adjust to my home life and culture. When I was departing to begin my semester, I thought that leaving my home behind would be one of the hardest things I’d ever do. During the last few weeks I spent in Amman with my friends and host family, I could begin to feel that leaving Jordan would be much harder than it was to arrive. Nevertheless, being back home has allowed me to reflect on my experience studying abroad and to better understand how myself and my mindset has changed.
There was one aspect of Jordanian culture that was particularly hard for me to adjust to, and ironically, it’s absence from my life now is a main contributor to my reverse culture shock. In Jordan, which is a majority Muslim country, there are strict gender norms that regulate relationships, interactions, dress, and many more aspects of daily life. I noticed this the most by how differently my male American classmates would be treated than me. In public, men always approached and talked with them, usually acting as if I were not there. Also, the female students in the program usually had host families that were stricter with curfews and going out alone, including my host family. I had many male classmates tell me about how their host mothers did all their chores for them and never let them help in the kitchen, whereas many of my female classmates said their host families expected them to help around the house. There was also much more separation between men and women in public. Many cafes were male-only, all bathrooms were separated by gender, men and women were not supposed to touch, and me and my best friend (who is a man) got plenty of surprised reactions from locals when we told them that we were just friends, not married or dating. This aspect of culture also applies to dress. It is extremely rude to wear clothes that reveal your shoulders or knees in Jordan, but the pressure to adapt to this cultural norm was definitely placed more on the female students in the program.
There are a million more examples of how gender norms impact everyday life in Jordan. Coming in to the program, I was aware of certain things like the dress code, not to shake a man’s hand unless he reaches out first, not to approach men in public, etc., but I don’t think I was totally prepared for how strictly this cultural norm was followed. In the beginning of the program, I was very excited to chat with locals and practice Arabic, so I would always try to make conversation with taxi drivers, restaurant workers, etc. no matter their gender. But I quickly learned that my curiosity and eagerness was not always appreciated by men. Over the semester, I learned to respectfully mind my own business if a man did not want to have a conversation with me, and to not be offended when I ask a man for help and they refer me to a woman.
From my time living in Amman, I learned that this cultural practice is meant to maintain boundaries and mutual respect between men and women. It is also meant to protect women and girls. My academic director made it very clear that he cared about all of his students, but that he was extra concerned about the safety and security of the female students. Early curfews, stricter clothing rules, and rejected friendly advances are all intended to protect women from harm.
This experience has taught me to be more patient when encountering behavior from another person that I do not understand, especially regarding gender norms. Not everyone has the American view of free gender expression. I was able to change how I viewed this cultural difference through extensive talks with program staff and my host family. Now, I know that wherever I go, if there is something that everyone is doing and I don’t understand it, all I have to do is ask someone to explain.
Overall, my time in Jordan changed my life in so many different ways. It has definitely encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone and see more of the world, but also to relax enjoy everyday life. I recommend SIT Jordan to anyone considering it!
Great post, and welcome home!!!