The first couple of months in Paris were a dream. I ran around the city with friends because I always wanted to be doing something. I ignored all the dirty looks I got when my American accent came out because I was so happy to be somewhere that was not Florida. I knew how to order food, so whether or not I could keep a conversation did not matter.
I only started to miss home once I began going to this coffee shop near my apartment. Until then, I managed to order my drink in broken French without question, but the employees here did not accept my ignorance. The first time I went, I missed what the barista said to me, and she very bluntly told me in English that she could not help me if I did not speak. I was taken aback by her comment because, for the first time, I felt confronted by the language barrier. My friends told me I should not go there again, but their coffee was excellent, and I was determined to show them that I was not a typical American.
I began going at least three times a week, and every time something convinced me never to return. The employees were straightforward and would answer me in English when I spoke French, but I would not let it deter me. During that period, I became more aware of how people viewed me in restaurants and shops because I knew I stuck out like a sore thumb when I spoke.
The last time I went to that coffee shop, the barista told me in a frustrated tone that his question wasn’t written across his forehead when I missed what he said. I cried on my walk home because I finally felt defeated by the language barrier. For the first time, I missed the simplicity of getting around at home and not feeling like I have to apologize every time I order something.
I do not go to this coffee shop because it warped how I viewed Parisiens. Moving abroad is hard, especially when you are not fluent in the country’s native language, but it does not reflect poorly on the people or yourself. I learned that it is okay to be frustrated when I don’t understand something but that it should not deter me from trying the next time, except when excellent coffee is involved.