It feels a bit surreal to say, “I am leaving, in less than a week, to live in Japan for four months.” A myriad of coincidences and life events have brought me to realize this expedition has been an unconscious dream of mine, now turned into a conscious reality. I say this to remind you, dear reader, that your dreams can come true. And, they could be far greater, crazier, and unexpected than you could have ever imagined.
Going in somewhat blind to a whole new culture and way of life is exciting for me. In those moments, one can really see how deep some of their home country’s (or family’s) cultural values, habits, and patterns run within their veins. What matters, in those moments, is noticing it, and choosing how to move forward. Of course, one can do prep work and begin to view their own culture without the help of another culture to juxtapose it, and go into depth with some of those observations.
A cultural behavior of the United States that I personally notice is the undertone of informality. There are some niceties in customer service, for example, but most of the time the manner in which everyday people interact with each other can be pretty informal. I’ve seen this through high school students referring to their teachers by their first name, or through strangers interacting with each other with no trouble passing through social barriers. There is not much of a dress code, either. People walk outside in “athleisure”– sweatpants, joggers, leggings– or even PJ’s, and not many will bat even an eye. These small cues deliver the message that, in the U.S., it’s okay to live your life on an informal level. On a more macro scale, informality could be seen as the fights that individuals have with customer service workers, their teachers, or elders– better said, the macro effect of informality is the attitude U.S. culture holds on their relationship with authority and respect. Informality is not an absolute truth of the United States, as formality is seen here as well. But, informality seems to be more prevalent here than in other cultures.
The definition of what is “formal” or “informal” can change depending on the person– the line can be drawn anywhere depending on the upbringing and taste of the individual. Personally, I see formality as a form of respect. It is treating the other in a formal manner, because, unless proven otherwise, they have done nothing to deserve any other form of treatment.
My feelings and thoughts towards this cultural notion in the United States are mixed. Coming from a Latin household as a first-generation U.S. citizen, I’ve been raised with a multidimensional, sometimes juxtapositional, cultural-value system. I see value in holding formality, a basic form of respect, between the different social or life-oriented positions humans find themselves in. I see it as a necessary component to function as an honorable person. However, there is much to be explored with the freedom and space one obtains once a relationship reaches a certain level of informality; people you once thought were “above” or “below” you can appear more human, more “equal”, and that can bring forth a more conscious understanding of mutuality.
This is not to say all formal relationships lack mutuality due to difference in “position”– formal relationships can most certainly hold a deep mutuality. What I am pointing out it is simply the small nuances in the way people interact once all of those boundaries come down. If someone from a more reserved culture, say, France, were to come to the U.S., they would notice these nuances and possibly be taken aback by it. They could form opinions such as, “Why is there so much small talk in between strangers? How informal, how casual.” Or, in Japan, where honorifics are a norm, an older visitor could think to themselves, “I am an elder; why is no one referring to me as such (with the English equivalent of “Mr./Ms.”) every time they speak to me? How disrespectful!”
In the conversation of formality and informality, there is no right or wrong answer, no black or white. Akin to most, if not all, conversations of cultural nuances and social matters, there is much grey area to this topic. Reflecting on just one small aspect of a huge sociocultural web reminds me: as I begin my journey to a new world, it is important to take everything I observe from a state of neutrality. It is imperative to take everything as-is, and try not to make too heavy of a comparison to my past experiences in different countries or cultures. I think, if I allow Japan to just be Japan, I could gain so much more wisdom than if I were to immediately make strict judgements and black-and-white statements about a place I, at the end of the day, know nothing about. To truly let the unknown be the unknown, and not project any expectation onto it… that, to me, is what travel is about, and is the exciting mystery of life!
In two months, who knows how life will unfold… let alone four months! I hope these following journal entries can inspire you to travel abroad and take on the courageous journey of the unknown, or can help you reminisce on your own experiences. Either way, I will do my best to remain as authentic as possible. 🙂
xoxo, see you soon Japan!
Pia