Having only taken one entire class in the Computer Science Major Map, I was very intimidated going into the Grace Hopper Celebration. I knew there would be countless high achieving women there who had known they were going to be in the tech industry since middle school, whereas I had recently found my love for coding and web development. Though I was extremely excited to be able to go to this conference the insecurities were quickly overtaking my mind. Even though this was the case, I still knew that I was going to face my fear and go into this conference wanting to get as much as I possibly could.

            Overall, I would say that I really did learn a lot throughout this conference. One of the most valuable lessons that I learned was definitely making connections with others. I feel like I was able to make some amazing relationships with several people which was a great learning experience being that it’s not everyday that you are able to talk to the largest companies in the tech industry. I absolutely loved talking to one recruiter from Snapchat who I even was able to connect with on LinkedIn which gave me the confidence boost that I needed after being so intimidated by everything.

            Along with networking, I felt that I came out of the conference extremely empowered as a woman in technology. Despite the fact that I wasn’t necessarily to most advanced or experienced in the tech field, I was still overwhelmingly accepted by every person that I encountered. Anywhere from the workshops to the panels to the networking opportunities, I felt like I had found a place where I had a support system cheering me on to succeed. This experience truly changed my perspective and I am extremely grateful.

This year I had the absolute honor of being able to go to the Grace Hopper Celebration for Women in Computing. I heard about this conference when I was on another SHIP Grant sponsored competitive program called Summer of Code 2019 which allowed me to explore the world of technology in San Francisco, one of the largest focal points of technology in the nation. As soon as I heard about what this conference I immediately knew that this would be yet another great opportunity that would advance my career immensely.

            This conference was focused on women in computing meaning that it would be a great way to be able to meet high achieving women in the tech industry, something that is rare to find considering the gender imbalance in STEM. The amount of opportunities that are available at this conference were amazing because they offered a variety of platforms to get educated such as workshops, panels, career fairs, and resume reviews.

            One of my favorite moments that I experienced was when I was pitching myself to recruiters to companies that I was genuinely interested like Groupon, Snapchat, and Eventbrite. It was great getting practice networking with these amazing companies because it’s an experience that is rare to find on a regular basis. Additionally, I was able to make true connections with these companies being that we even connected on Linkedin, creating future relationships that will allow me to flourish in the field. Some of these companies like Activision, were able to actually offer me opportunities once I am eligible to apply as a junior in college. This was extremely exciting to hear because I truly am interested in working in that company

            This experience allowed me to get in touch with some of the biggest companies and allowed for my name and face to be recognizable by the top recruiters of the nation. The most valuable feeling was that I was being seen as a technologist rather than a woman in technology, something I know is a common issue for several women in the tech industry. I gained so much empowerment due to being surrounded by amazing women and I left the conference inspired to make strides of my own to become a top technologist.

This was also the first time I have visited Detroit. It seems like Detroit was built on innovation – I had the opportunity of staying next to all the headquarters like Deloitte and General Motors and it seems like this Summit is a good way of resurging that entrepreneurial spirit – Detroit felt like a space where ideas can be cultivated and developed to eventually change the world. I feel like most people in my age range want to do good for their communities and some of it comes from the fear of what the future will look like, but I’d like to say that it really comes down to our passion. Not to mention, support is an important element in this equation. In other words, it is very refreshing to know that there are spaces that encourage us to do these empowering things, and most importantly together. I was able to meet investors and business professionals from across the globe. They shared their ideas and gave feedback on how to start my own business as an entrepreneur.

In October, I attended the Forbes Under 30 Summit in Detroit as an Under 30 Scholar. Needless to say, it was a conference unlike anything I have ever experienced! The event featured professional development workshops, community service opportunities and a roster of star-studded speakers. My favorite speaker was Serena Williams. She spoke about her legacy, not just as an athlete, but as a businesswoman and entrepreneur. I also saw Kevin Durant speak. It was really refreshing, as a minority student, to interact with and see extremely successful people that look like me. This experience was the most motivating and humbling opportunity. Meeting a variety of forward-thinking individuals was exciting – If anything, one of the biggest takeaways of the Summit was how being authentic and uncompromising to yourself and values is so important. As an undergraduate student, I can’t help but wonder sometimes “why am I working so hard?” but being at the Forbes Under 30 Summit gave me reassurance that all of this hard work has not been a waste. Connecting with other amazing individuals and other motivated Under 30 Scholars really showed we all come from different walks of life and we truly all are trying to make this world a better place. This conference was able to bring people with bright ideas, but also plans to execute them. You could feel the ambition in the room each day.

Getting to Know Musicians 

Appropriate to this reminiscent time around the new year, I think about the immense change that took place this past year through music. Often the boundaries between music and personal life are weak, as many artistic experiences project the most personal experiences. As someone whose emotional world revolves primarily around artistic experience, my artistic journey impacts me profoundly. Previously, I’ve tended towards avoiding successful, motivated potential peers because of how awful about myself I thought I would feel around them. This year, however, has rewarded me for accepting my insecurities and accepting peers who inspire and challenge me.  

I had a very emotional time at Markand Thakar’s workshop. But I cannot fail to mention the spirit of camaraderie that swept me from a dark and lonely place to one that is exciting, lively, and full of hope. Between the conducting and technique sessions, Fellows and instructors inspired me through their simultaneous devotion to art and compassion for others.  

For example, one fellow conductor and I frequently partnered together to critique each other on technique, yet this friend also stayed next to me on the upsetting first day until we were laughing about silly things. Another brought me a dog to pet!  

This year’s bravery was rewarded immensely with the knowledge that I’m not alone in this struggle between loving art and wanting to succeed. I realized that by finally getting to know people I thought I would never be good enough to know, they are not actually so different from who I am or who I could be. I used to think I had to become too good for insecurities in order to succeed. I can’t fathom ever feeling like that. But living imperfectly and making the choice to persevere even when things are difficult? I can do that.  

Finding my Confidence 

I almost quit music this year because of how unhappy I’ve been feeling about it. In one last attempt to revive my interest, I decided to attend this workshop. The first night of conducting was a disaster. I could sense the frustration and concern emanating from all corners of the room – my mind was fixated on this instead of the music. I knew that I was barely even conducting. Towards the end of the fifteen-minute session, Markand Thakar (Music Director of the Baltimore Chamber Orchestra) said to me: “This is supposed to be fun.” Those words hit me so hard as I struggled to keep the tears down and prayed for my first session to be over.  

The next morning, I was prepared to forgive myself for another difficult session and to keep my chin up. That afternoon changed my life. I swear I almost dropped my salad when Markand looked at me from across the room and proclaimed his advice in front of everyone. I needed confidence, he said. He explained that according to a social psychologist named Amy Cuddy, you can manipulate the body to change the mind. This new approach to confidence was to “fake it ‘til you make it.”  

For years, I’ve been trying to overcome my self-sabotaging insecurities through reasoning with myself. But finally, I learned an additional remedy to my circular thinking… or for once, any overthinking at all. Before the evening session, I went to my hotel room and did some “power poses.” Then I danced to the next session’s piece alone in the room. That night, I stepped up to the podium and said: “Hello, I am the World’s Greatest Conductor.” The players laughed, but the trick worked. I’ve never had so much fun. From now on, I think I will keep faking it.