This past Saturday, I attended the Women’s Rally in Lake Eola, showing solidarity with millions around the globe to give voice to a variety of issues and concerns facing the American public in the midst of the recent political election. Nearly half a million people gathered at the main rally in Washington D.C. alone while an estimated 6,000 community members crowded our downtown park. These numbers were hard to wrap my head around, but to actually see the volume of the crowd in person was absolutely awe-inspiring. As I witnessed the nearly mile-length perimeter of Lake Eola fill up with joy, love, song and dance, I saw a powerful hope and an enthusiastic livelihood that proved to me that feminism is not dead. In this day and age, many want to argue that the era and need for feminism is dying out. As an active member of the feminist community, this can often make me feel discouraged and hopeless. However, it is moments and events like the Women’s Rally that remind me that despite what negativity or rejection I face as an activist, there is a diverse group of people standing with me and winning small but essential victories for our community and all around the world.

I had several moments like this at Feminist Camp as well. Many of the leaders we met had been fighting for the feminist cause long before I even knew what feminism was. Though they have fought a difficult and endless battle, they still show so much passion and enthusiasm for the work they do and the people that they serve. Much like the fellow marchers at the Women’s Rally, these feminist leaders confirmed the validity and strength of the movement and made me proud to be a part of it. One of the wonderful feminist leaders I met at Feminist Camp was Merle Hoffman. Merle opened the Choices Medical Center in Queens, New York and has been fighting for and maintaining reproductive justice in the area for over forty years. Her and her team of doctors, nurses, secretaries, social workers and counselors welcomed all visitors and patients with open arms. Each person that was there performed their duties with pride, building genuine relationships with patients and providing services to any and all who walked through the door. Though faced with bomb threats, protestors and lack of funding, they continue to empower women and families in the area. They give women and families the full knowledge and support they need in order to make the informed decisions that they are most comfortable with. Choices puts the knowledge, choice and consequently, the power, back in the hands of the patient and reminds patients that they are capable and responsible of making their own reproductive choices.

My experiences at both Choices Medical Center and the Women’s Rally gave me the hopeful view of feminism that I have been yearning for lately. Though I am a relatively young activist, I already realize that the work can be tiring and seem to be at a constant standstill. As I develop my skills as an activist and ally, these kinds of experiences will be the ones that keep me going. These small but strong glimpses of hope motivate me and keep me sane through the emotional labor of social activism. I look forward to participating in more moments of solidarity and leading such moments for and with other young activists.

After almost every interaction I’ve had with non-profits and leaders, I was reassured that my majors will not determine my future career and life. This feels comforting and makes me hopeful. A few of the awesome women included had started off as teachers, which is what I hope to be for a good portion of my life. They changed routes and I wonder if I’ll do the same. Many of the women had emphasized that we see our life as a ladder, a linear process with an X amount of steps. Prior to the conference, I honestly viewed my career and life in this way. It felt daunting and constantly made me question my worth and ability in society. Now, I see that change will constantly flow in my life, mistakes will occur, and I will get stronger. Mistakes and changes are typically unwelcome and viewed in a negative sense, but now I welcome the two because they can teach me and guide me to where I need to be!

Asking for help, especially with big projects like building an app from scratch or starting an impactful organization is necessary. I have learned that I cannot accomplish everything on my own, and that this is alright. The leaders had taught us to not be afraid of asking for help, because it will ultimately mean the world to find those willing to work together and be able to empower up to millions of people. Some will even do it for free! I thought this was only in the movies. After learning this, I feel a huge sense of relief. That rushed feeling that many of us have experienced, where there is a deadline to make change or develop or attend school or anything else, has for the most part decreased in occurrence.

The women we met had refused to be subordinate, submissive, and apologetic. Many not only asked others for help, but didn’t take no for an answer. One example of such a woman was Nancy Lublin, founder and CEO of Crisis Text Line. When it came to funding a cause, she was a woman who truly wouldn’t take no for an answer, because she didn’t ask. She had raised millions of dollars for one of her startups not by asking for handouts, sucking up, or praising, but by telling the people with money and power why they needed to fund her cause. She was insistent, strong, extremely straightforward, and just incredible to watch. She had the facts to back up her claims and demands, and ended up doing what many organizations can’t do very quickly. I hope to get the confidence to achieve such a feat.

The feelings that best describe the conference to me are centered on hope and empowerment. These women and organizations we’ve met had made failure and non-stop effort attractive. I want to spend my life pushing myself and others around me to end the status quo, to question the paths of least resistance, and be uncomfortable. Also, I realized that the process is more important than the end result. Many of these women had no clue where they were going to “end up”, and trusted themselves enough to follow their gut feelings, desires, and passions. They had told us how they are working their dream job, and it was evident! After this conference, I feel confident in being able to contribute to society. They have taught me that there is no cap, minimum, or range that we need define ourselves by. I know that I can’t change the entire “world” per se but I can be part of the global change, along with millions of others. We really need to empower students and peers to know that they are valued and listened to, because if they feel worth and autonomy, they hopefully can use it to improve the world.

Above: Ariana Barreto, Author at The Muse. She wants people to love their job and be successful at it. She believes that transparency and mutual respect is important for a positive and effective work environment. This company encompasses such qualities, and has shown me how inclusive and progressive a company can actually be in terms of intersectionality.

It is hard to choose just one critical experience I had at Feminist Camp. One that affected me the deeply was when our group had the opportunity to visit Choices in Queens, NY. This was one of our first visits of the trip. Choices is a comprehensive women’s health clinic founded by Merle Hoffman, who we had the pleasure to meet and have a round-table discussion with. The building houses areas of specialty for pre-natal care, gynecology, abortion, nutrition, behavioral health, and education all under the same organization. While at Choices, we initially had a talk about our expectations and then were given a tour of the building. Our main ‘tour guide’ was the Lead Social Worker for Choices. After showing us the reception room that takes calls in over seven different languages, we went to see her office. In her office, she spoke about all of the services she offered from basic birth control to accumulating the resources for women in abusive relationships and sex trafficking. As psychology major, I have always been interested in helping others. The extent to which the Lead Social Worker safeguarded these women by finding resources in their area, making sure resources would not be too far away so that the abuser wouldn’t know they were seeking help, and even getting escorts to ensure the safety of these women amazed me. After this experience, I found that I know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I plan on pursuing a social work degree and going into traditional practice or even to court to defend clients. This experience exposed me to the versatility of a social work degree. Overall, my experience at Feminist Camp has fortified my confidence and passion for what I’m studying.

Starting our tour at Choices

Discussing our thoughts and experiences at Choices with Merle Hoffmann, over lunch.

Merle (second from left) and vital staff members, including the Lead Social Worker (second from right). I’m in the middle.

Reflecting back on my trip, I cannot help but feel so grateful for everything the week gave to me. To begin, spending a week surrounded by strong, determined, and understanding women really inspired me. I grew up surrounded by strong women, but to meet so many of them close to my age who are determined to change the course of our nation and help solve some major areas of injustice is incredible. I got to meet women from other schools across the country and even the world, and I know I have definitely made some feminist friends I can reach out to in the future!

Further, Feminist Camp has been instrumental in my career planning. The course through Rollins and the focus of the camp itself was designed to help campers begin to network and learn necessary career skills. One morning we spent time talking to the Muse.com on general career advice and then had a resume workshop. The resume workshop was very helpful because I plan on applying to internships in the near future. The course helped me to fine-tune my resume to give me the best chance for an internship acceptance.

The networking portion of this trip was by far the most outstanding and exciting career-oriented part of the trip. We got to meet several incredible organizations dedicated to helping women, girls, and other marginalized groups. Amy and Carly, who ran the camp, know so many people all over NYC and were able to connect the campers to organizations’ leaders who had similar passions. Now that we’ve “graduated,” we are the alumni email list and will get emailed job opportunities as they come along. Even better, we get to have Amy and Carly as references if we ever apply to jobs in NYC, which is incredibly helpful.

Overall this experience is something that will absolutely stick out when I think of my four years at Rollins, and I am so lucky to have been able to be the first group that attended the camp.

This was when we had lunch at Amy’s house! The woman all the way to the right was one of my roommates, Caroline, who recently graduated from Tulane.

This was taken at my mini-internship at Sanctuary for Families. The women to my right and left were other attendees of the Feminist Camp.

This picture was taken after a meeting we had with a philanthropy called the Third Wave Fund.

Penguin Random House

Feminist Camp has changed me. You see, I entered into a problematic head space each day: putting on my dress pants, button down, blazer, and name tag, I began to wonder whether my appeal to fit into the professional world was somehow inauthentic to who I am. I asked myself: am I white-washing my Colombian identity?

When first generation persons of color attempt to step into worlds never entered by anyone they have ever known, an identity crisis ensues. I felt so sure that I did not belong in those boardrooms with professional activists, but it was during these moments that I was forced to face the feelings that have been increasingly on my mind as graduation day looms closer: What exactly am I going to do? Whose footsteps do I follow? How could I ever enter a professional world when those spaces were never meant for people like me?–that was the unlikely question that seemed to open a door to a version of myself that I had not yet discovered.

Amy Richards–the cofounder of Feminist Camp–called me over to tell me she arranged a meeting with a friend that worked at Random House. More than excitement came fear, surely I was unworthy of such a meeting, right?

Entering the Random House building is an experience that is difficult for me to describe. Imagine you come from a home where concerns of safety and the security of our next meal far surpassed concerns of education. We had no books at home, so the wonder that I felt the first time I entered a library was akin to the exhilaration I felt at Random House. At two different points in my life, I felt the same euphoria surrounded by literature. I dreamed of a future in books, but I never believed I had the tools that would get me there. I never believed I would meet someone that could help me.

So there I sat across from the Assistant Director of Random House; she was sweet and welcoming. When she asked me about my interests and goals, the meek voice I expected to hear checked out as I spoke with an unwavering strength that I have never known my voice to have. I talked about my experience and leadership roles in publishing with confidence and clarity. Now this may not seem particularly significant, but this air of competence is not something I believed I possessed. Despite my accomplishments, my mind has remained stuck in the past–who I was and where i had come from and not how hard I have worked to get as far as I have come.

This program has given me hope that I have never felt allowed to feel. I know now that if given the opportunity, I can prove to be a strong and capable woman. In all sincerity, this program has been the most rewarding experience I have had at Rollins. I am more prepared and confident in my future than I have ever been.

[Post originally appeared at https://jenvalero.wordpress.com/2017/01/30/feminist-camp-reflection/]