My palms are sweating, and my stomach feels like it’s about to implode upon itself. I quietly slip outside to pace back and forth and take long deep gasps of air. I had my very first anxiety attack. I had arrived at this conference in Alabama, ready to sit amongst my peers, and have a meaningful discourse about literature that captivated me in previous semesters. While sitting in on panels from other 18th-century British women writers, I had begun to second guess the quality of introspection my paper showed. Compared to the incredible talent I had just witnessed; I wasn’t sure I was ready for this level of academic discourse. Fortunately, my previous professor had arrived after the first day, and we had an impactful heart to heart. Sitting on the step outside the front of The Hotel at Auburn University, he said, “Dom, some of these people have Ph.D.’s, and some of them are college sophomores.” He assured me everyone comes here with ideas. The aim is to collectively engage in discourse that will help each of us; think more profound, or think more significant, or spark the ideas that haven’t come yet. He admitted that although he seems in his element in the classroom, reading his personal works in front of his peers sometimes gives him butterflies; even this far into his professional career. I realized there is a healthy amount of fear necessary in any personal growth, and I found comfort in that.

My panel consisted of, a high school principal going back for her Ph.D. and a doctoral graduate student from another University who presented part of her dissertation. We all discussed different aspects of Emily Brontë’s novel, Wuthering Heights. Although I have read that novel what feels like a million times over, I was still equally engaged in each of the varying perspectives of the other panelists. I was still learning new ways to read and interpret this piece of literature. When it came time for me to read my paper, I noticed a pit developing in my stomach. As I looked at the audience, and over to the other panelists, I remember previous conversations with many of them. Some of them I spoke with at previous sessions, and others at the dinner the night before. Everyone at my table had a unique story that brought them here, not like mine but equally as impactful. That background formed the person they are and the perspective that I just got the privilege of understanding. I understood that my view may be a valuable addition to some discourse, and at worst, I’d get some feedback to take with me and learn from. After the Q&A session, where my professor sat tall in the back row, smiling from ear to ear as I answered the questions from my peers in the audience, I also smiled at my newest accomplishment. I was terrified at one point, but I prepared as well as I could, and I will take what I learned and do that much better next time. Because surviving my first conference has only given me the courage to try again next year. The experience has been one of great reflection and growth both academically and personally. I can’t emphasize enough that I wouldn’t have been able to pull the funds together to attend if not for the generous SHIP grant, I received from Rollins College.

The National Society of Collegiate Scholars leadership summit is mainly a training session for officers from each school chapter that happens every year in D.C. As the vice president of this chapter, I represented Rollins to attend the summit this year. Since Rollins is a relatively new registered chapter, my responsibility and job were to be trained on how to recruit more new members at Rollins to this program, and how to use social media tips and tricks to create more NSCS awareness on campus.

The first session was a welcome speech by the founder of the NSCS program, which was genuinely inspiring as to begin this training. He told the story of how the program was founded on the belief that the first-year student who has achieved high GPA of 3.5 should be awarded and recognized for their achievement instead of what other honors societies usually do, recognizing the overall high college GPAs when students graduate. He said he founded the program in order to get those high-achievers together early on in their college life so that they could build connection and create a beautiful college experience. At first, his program was not recognized and admitted by the National Honors Society, however, he successfully persuaded those members by asking the question that how many people seated is a founder of the chapter and since all the chapters in the Honors Society are at least 100 years old, he is the only founder present. He said that his chapter was finally admitted because they need new exciting ideas and fresh blood pouring into the community, just like the current society, that we need the youth to create a positive and refreshing college atmosphere.

The summit has invited different successful people in different field who have all been NSCS members when they were in college, and they have taught us their experiences and tips to success. For example, the woman below is the author of Get it Together and also the founder of a successful job-hunting company. She has told us how she has had 8 different internships in college and started her first internship in NYC when she was a freshman, and how connection with different people plays a big role as she was applying for different jobs. She said do not be afraid to meet new people everyday because you never know what role they would play in your life one day.

For the breakout session, each chapter office has to choose a session which would help their chapter best at the moment. So, I chose Social Media tips, job searching &interview skills for maximum impact, professional communication and new member recruitment. For each session, there would be a professional chapter leader to tutor us on how to build a successful college chapter. The photo below is my team during the new member recruitment training, and we have won the best team to recruitment members during a competition with the other team. Not only have I learnt the trick and skills, but also, I have got to know many friends during this trip. We are all chapter leaders, and maybe later in life we would all become all kinds of leaders in society, and this summit have already ensured me this connection with them. These training does not only fulfill my individual goal to be a successful leader, but also help me to set my steps and goals to expand our Rollins NSCS chapter so that more students would have more scholarship opportunities and connection to other honorable students in state.

Blog 2: Growing as a musician; a reflection upon rehearsal practices

The only way to get better is to practice. There are very few musicians who would disagree with you. Performers put in hundreds of hours of rehearsal and individual practice into incredible productions like those one would see on Broadway or in an arena, and so do the performers who play to the smallest clubs and bars imaginable. Though they all rehearse, the question arises; what are the best rehearsal practices?

While performing with the Crossmen Drum and Bugle Corps this summer, I paid very close attention to the way our rehearsals were run and then compared those practices with the results and general morale of the ensemble. The best way to describe the optimal rehearsal is relaxed but structured and goal oriented. With blocks of rehearsal occasionally going as long as 4 hours, the time must also be engaging the entire time. Both the director of the rehearsal, the other staff members involved, and the students have to present a high level of energy in order to keep rehearsal from being wasted or unproductive. The results of this positive rehearsal culture were on par with the work put in, as the group was a top 12 drum corps and a highly competitive percussion ensemble. The rehearsal practices proved effective.

While the sheer amount of rehearsal is very difficult to replicate outside of drum corps, the rehearsal practices are very applicable to every day musicians, as well as members of any sort of rehearsed-ensemble. If the rehearsal has set goals and high energy, it is bound to be productive. This sort of productivity can only improve the quality of art and performance seen in the world regularly. Structure, positive energy, and commitment to excellence are the keys.

Blog 1: Growing as a Leader; A Reflection on My 2019 Drum Corps Season

To take care of others in the hardest parts of their lives can be overwhelming. You are the person people come to with issues ranging from minor need for a door to be opened to a raging sorrow caused by a fellow teammate. And when things go horribly wrong, you have to look past your own needs and emotions, and make sure that the team can continue moving forward. I think I was the last person to recover.

During my summer with Crossmen Drum & Bugle Corps, I acted as co-section leader with another member of the Front Ensemble, part of the larger percussion ensemble. Every day, for 85 days, I was tasked to make sure there was minimal blips in the radar, in terms of both musicianship and social behavior. I put out fires of all sizes while still having to do my non-leadership responsibilities in the highest capacities.

I learned that with such a high-functioning group that the easiest way to solve the unavoidable internal struggles was to truly just talk it out, peer to peer, member to member. I found it much more valuable to act as a guide than a manager.

This attitude, while not always easy to uphold, is what made the biggest struggles of the summer an overall massive success. There is not enough weight that can be put upon the importance of positive energy and selflessness when trying to be a leader. When you think about others, you will always do the right thing.

My recent departure from New Haven has left me reeling with newfound knowledge, possibility, and ambition. Although I could write a hundred pages about my experience, I think it is prudent to discuss three specific events that underscore the pragmatic value of Yale’s Summer Institute in Bioethics. In my last blog, I discussed the structure of the program and the substance of my personal interactions. In this blog, I will discuss our two major fieldtrips, and the final poster presentations.

Our first field trip was to the Hastings Center. This is a gorgeous and reputable facility near Westpoint on the Hudson River which hosts scholars’ research, and publishes interdisciplinary bioethical research and review papers. We had the honor of attending multiple presentations by current scholars, and discussed with them topics ranging from the anti-vaccine movement to the medical cost of an aging prison population. For me, this was personally significant insofar as it opened a window for a possible gap year endeavor. After her presentation, I spoke to a current researcher about my Rollins thesis on advanced directives for euthanasia, and she invited me to apply for a research position.

My Neuroethics class also had the privilege of touring the Cushing Center in the Yale Medical Library. This is a museum of sorts memorializing the work of pioneer neurosurgeon Harvey Cushing. There is a fascinating and humorous story behind the museum’s creation. Allegedly, Cushing stored his hundreds of samples (literal brains in jars) in a basement of a building that would become the Yale medical students’ dormitories. Curious medical students discovered the brains, but as a result (and to preserve the samples), the basement was locked. Not to be deterred so easily, the students made pilgrimages through vents to view the brains, and it became so popular that Yale finally decided to put the brains on display, along with a large glass exhibit praising the life of Cushing himself. Some of the brains have since been used in experimentation. What made this visit significant to me is that it raised two major ethical concerns in and of itself: (1) Is it right to use and display brains without the consent of the owners? (Facets of this issue: the moral significance of brains versus other body parts, the lack of consent laws when they were acquired, and postmortem harm/potential harm to living family members.) (2) Should we praise the work of this man, as well as his life story, without acknowledging his racism/ableism and the harms he brought on diminished communities? (Facets of this issue: context, institutional racism, and continued harms to victims.) I still grapple with how I would address these concerns.

Finally, and most significantly, I had the privilege of presenting a poster of my research before the Yale Medical School as well as the esteemed speakers and professors of the Bioethics Institute. My research focused on bimaternal parenthood. For background, in late 2018, researchers were able to combine (in mice) a genetically-engineered female-derived embryonic stem cell with an egg, to produce viable, fertile offspring from two mothers. However, bipaternalism is currently unachievable. In my paper, I argue for continued research in bimaternalism and bipaternalism, with the ultimate goal of human implementation. I substantiate this with a Rawlsian analysis of societal equity, justice, and the four principles of bioethics.

I can say without embellishment or self-absorption that my presentation was successful. During and afterward, I was able to establish connections that will aid in the continued development of my paper. In turn, I plan to finetune it for real publication.

Thank you for aiding me in this journey. It was transformative in more ways than I could possibly describe in two blogs. For the SHIP team, I have only the deepest gratitude and appreciation.

My experience at the Yale Bioethics Summer Institute has been nothing short of extraordinary. I’ve had the pleasure of making friends with a cohort of brilliant peers, the privilege of studying beneath world-renowned professors, and the honor of presenting research before an esteemed panel of evaluators.

Before arriving at the Yale Bioethics program, I anticipated walking into a lion’s den of cutthroat geniuses, who would see me as the naïve kid from a little Florida college. This couldn’t have been farther from the truth. The director of the institute – the celebrated bioethicist Stephen Latham, best known recently for his ethical work on postmortem brain revival experimentation – is a warm man passionate about his work and in no shortage of good humor. The woman running the program, Lori Bruce, has the longest CV I’ve ever seen but also one the kindest hearts of anyone I’ve ever met. They and their program management team go to great lengths to fulfill students’ intellectual, emotional, and professional needs. Any concerns are addressed swiftly and professionally, with attention to cultural differences and disabilities of all classifications.

The first week of this program was labeled “Foundations,” and was more of the traditional conference format. Foundations in Bioethics is a gathering that draws professionals from around the globe – with some looking for bioethical supplementation to their professions, and others who are professional bioethicists or students of bioethics looking to meet with colleagues (like a ComicCon for bioethics nerds). What I loved about Foundations was that it didn’t assume we knew about science or philosophy, and before each topic was discussed (by the leading stars of the relevant disciplines), there would be a lecture overviewing pertinent information necessary to a layman’s understanding of the bioethical principle. Although I am versed in both philosophy and science, my peers ranged from neuroscientists to philosophers to creative writing students specializing in bioethics genres; these clarificatory lectures elevated discussions insofar as there did not need to be wasted time on baseline questions.

After Foundations, most of the attendants left, leaving about sixty participants for the remaining six weeks. Our instructors urged us to become close. We, they said, were each other’s main resources – the bioethics community is a small one, and we would almost definitely encounter our peers again throughout our lives. My professors shared anecdotes about their writing papers with other bioethicists (over the internet), and then meeting them again years later and re-introducing themselves, only to realize they had once published books together.

Every morning, we have a general lecture. Then, we have lunch (one or two hours, depending on the length of the lecture). Finally, we have two two-hour classes a day, from one to five. We often have night activities, where we attend speakers, watch bioethics movies, or meet with professors to receive critiques on our work. Every night, we have about fifty pages of reading minimum, sometimes up to one hundred pages; and every week, we have to write on discussion boards about that week’s topic in each class. Classes are taught twice a week for three weeks (as we have Monday and Wednesday classes, then Tuesday and Thursday classes), for a total of six classes (twelve hours) in each discipline; then we switch to a different schedule with a different set of four classes. Fridays are pure lecture, with some events, including field trips. (I will expand in my next post 😊 )

I’ve had the privilege of taking the following courses: Bioethics and the Law, Genetics and Bioethics, Neuroethics, Disability and Bioethics, Cultural and Contextual Bias, Global Health Ethics, Aliens Among Us (Space and Tech Ethics), and Animal Ethics.

I have loved every moment. More than anything, this experience affirms that this is my community, and that this is what I’m meant to pursue professionally.

Having just attended my first Society for Menstrual Cycle Research biennial conference through support from the SHIP grant, I leave with a deeper appreciation for communities and support networks within academic fields, especially one as messy, trivialized, and delegitimized as menstruation. This conference was the first time I have ever been exposed to such a large group of individuals – over 100 people – who all shared the same “odd” interest as me. For nearly three full days, I was surrounded by academics – many of whom I have read and deeply admire – who were all as equally as passionate about menstruation as I was, and who understood the importance of studying an oftentimes forgotten or stigmatized topic. During my time at the conference, I never had to preface my work with an explanation of how I got introduced to the topic or why I would even want to study periods in the first place. Instead, my work – along with the work of all the other researchers and presenters – was respected and valued for the academic merit it holds. Moreover, as a truly feminist gathering and organization, I never experienced the elitist or exclusionary atmosphere that academia can sometimes exude.

The best example of the sense of community, solidarity, and support present throughout the conference was the final, closing ceremony: a “Red Moon Howl” poetry slam and open mic, where individuals were invited to share either a personal work or the work of another that deeply resonated with them. For two hours, the very same academics I had seen during the conference went on stage to participate, talking freely and profoundly about their vulvas, periods, and experiences with menopause. I even shared a post from my own blog, something I never would have felt comfortable doing in a different setting. After presenting a work, every individual was awarded a “tamposy,” or a flower made from a deconstructed and died tampon. It was campy and ridiculous, and I loved every second.

Yet the communal, fun, and goofy atmosphere didn’t just make for a great night and a perfect end to a conference, it gave me the motivation to continue both my academic and my activist or educational work, and to deepen its extent and reach. In fact, the conference provided an enormous amount of affirmation and reassurance, confirming that I am pursuing and studying exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life. As I approach my impending senior thesis, which, of course, will be about menstruation, this motivation couldn’t come at a better time. Without the SHIP grant funding my conference registration and traveling fees, I could never have been able to experience this.

Dr. McLaren and I first discovered the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research’s biennial conference while we were in India conducting our research on menstrual hygiene management through Rollins’ student-faculty collaborative program. Like probably most people who first encounter the conference, or the society hosting it, our first reaction was one of disbelief: we couldn’t believe that such an institution and gathering existed. Our second reaction was one of complete excitement and awe at the serendipitous coincidence of discovering the upcoming, niche conference while we were still in the midst of our project. Our research, which we had spent nearly the last year designing, preparing and conducting, was centered on the state of the menstrual health and menstrual hygiene management movement in India and how local, grassroots organizations navigate dominant approaches and ideas to find what works best for them. The theme of SMCR’s 2019 conference? Traversing the Ridge: Connecting Menstrual Research and Advocacy. As soon as we returned from our travels, we submitted our abstract to the conference and were accepted to present our paper.

For me, my excitement was two-fold. Of course, I was ecstatic about the opportunity to present, for the first time, my work at an academic conference. Yet I was most looking forward to being surrounded by fellow menstrual activists, researchers, psychologists, and health professionals, all of whom, across their interdisciplinary fields, were engaging in exciting, innovating, and feminist work. As someone who has been fascinated by and involved in menstrual issues such as sustainable menstrual products, access and education, and the negative perception of menstruating bodies, I was excited to meet and learn from these individuals, many of whom were authors whose names I recognized and whose work had shaped my own thinking. I think the individual conversations and interactions with these scholars and organizers were some of the most impactful moments from SMCR’s conference, as these discussions exposed me to distinct ways to approach or think about menstruation and introduced me to new issues and written pieces that I cannot wait to delve into in my future work.

I had an awesome time at the PAT conference. I was able to meet other students and be around a room of people who enjoy researching history like I do. It was also really great to be around people of the history major and spend one on one time with Rollins students and faculty that I haven’t gotten to foster relationships with before. I was also able to meet and talk to a Holt school student and I was able to form a bond with another student and grow my network at Rollins.

During my presentation, I was nervous at first but about halfway through I found my rhythm and was confident with my presentation. It was a small audience, but it still helped me grow a lot because it was mostly people I did not know. After my presentation, there was a really great conversation with everyone in the room about my topic and I was able to discuss my research and develop some more questions that I could research further. My fellow presenter even asked me a question which was really cool! I was also able to listen to presentations from other students and ask them questions. That was another cool thing about this conference, it’s with a bunch of different students from different schools. It was a great environment to be around!

After my presentation, Dr. Strom and I spoke about my essay and research, and discussed how I may be able to work more on this research and paper and publish it, which would be a really awesome opportunity!

I have spent a lot of time preparing for this conference by re-writing my paper and making it into a professional nine page paper that will be easy to understand and easy for me to convey to others. I really enjoyed writing this paper last semester during my Researching American History class (which is featured as a ‘cool class’ at Rollins!) and I have learned a lot not only about my subject, the Ohio Wesleyan Football game in 1947, but also about researching, working in the archives, and writing.

I know that I have grown a lot as a writer, and it’s very exciting to be able to share my growth with others. The Phi Alpha Theta conference is a conference by the history honor society where history students come to present their research and can even compete with one another over presentation. In order to compete, you have to be a part of Phi Alpha Theta. That’s another thing I am excited for – I will be able to be a member of Phi Alpha Theta next year (again, the history honor society on campus), and next year at the conference, I will be able to present my research and be in the running to compete with others.

I’m excited for this experience because it helps me with my life goals—being a researcher and writer. The most rewarding things in my life are the things that feed my passions and further my goals. I am also really glad that Dr. Ewing and Dr. Strom encouraged me and all the other history students to do our best in the classroom, and then to go further and encourage us to do things like this. This conference is an awesome opportunity for me to grow. It doesn’t just look good for Rollins or good for me, but it helps me grow in my presenting skills, my writing skills, and my critical thinking skills.