Penguin Random House

Feminist Camp has changed me. You see, I entered into a problematic head space each day: putting on my dress pants, button down, blazer, and name tag, I began to wonder whether my appeal to fit into the professional world was somehow inauthentic to who I am. I asked myself: am I white-washing my Colombian identity?

When first generation persons of color attempt to step into worlds never entered by anyone they have ever known, an identity crisis ensues. I felt so sure that I did not belong in those boardrooms with professional activists, but it was during these moments that I was forced to face the feelings that have been increasingly on my mind as graduation day looms closer: What exactly am I going to do? Whose footsteps do I follow? How could I ever enter a professional world when those spaces were never meant for people like me?–that was the unlikely question that seemed to open a door to a version of myself that I had not yet discovered.

Amy Richards–the cofounder of Feminist Camp–called me over to tell me she arranged a meeting with a friend that worked at Random House. More than excitement came fear, surely I was unworthy of such a meeting, right?

Entering the Random House building is an experience that is difficult for me to describe. Imagine you come from a home where concerns of safety and the security of our next meal far surpassed concerns of education. We had no books at home, so the wonder that I felt the first time I entered a library was akin to the exhilaration I felt at Random House. At two different points in my life, I felt the same euphoria surrounded by literature. I dreamed of a future in books, but I never believed I had the tools that would get me there. I never believed I would meet someone that could help me.

So there I sat across from the Assistant Director of Random House; she was sweet and welcoming. When she asked me about my interests and goals, the meek voice I expected to hear checked out as I spoke with an unwavering strength that I have never known my voice to have. I talked about my experience and leadership roles in publishing with confidence and clarity. Now this may not seem particularly significant, but this air of competence is not something I believed I possessed. Despite my accomplishments, my mind has remained stuck in the past–who I was and where i had come from and not how hard I have worked to get as far as I have come.

This program has given me hope that I have never felt allowed to feel. I know now that if given the opportunity, I can prove to be a strong and capable woman. In all sincerity, this program has been the most rewarding experience I have had at Rollins. I am more prepared and confident in my future than I have ever been.

[Post originally appeared at https://jenvalero.wordpress.com/2017/01/30/feminist-camp-reflection/]

CHOICES WOMEN’S MEDICAL CENTER

Our day at Merle Hoffman’s Choices facility stands out as one of the most impactful learning experiences. Merle is a strong, confident woman unlike any other I have ever met. Running a for-profit organization that fights for reproductive rights, the center provides women with much needed care.

Among the many things that struck me at this facility was its location. Located in Jamaica, Queens (not far from where I often spent my time as a child), the facility offers care to a population that desperately needs it. Known to be impoverished and dense with an immigrant population, Merle’s facility helps a demographic (one that I identify with) that is often overlooked.

When speaking with the Director of the facility Esther Priegue–a woman so phenomenally intelligent and empathetic–I was astounded by how much care they put into their patients. One of the many jobs that Esther takes on is analyzing the camera that faces the waiting room. She notes the girls’ body language to pick up on when they may be in danger, as these girls are victims of abuse more often than one would hope. As a survivor of abuse myself, I was touched by how dedicated they were to go beyond what is medically necessary.

I have never met such empathetic individuals before. I left there hoping that I good give back, and hopefully, return as a volunteer when I move back to New York.

This post originally appeared at https://jenvalero.wordpress.com/2017/01/30/choices-womens-medical-center/

A three sided table, thirty nine seats, one hell of a dinner party.

I’ll admit it: I’m not huge on art museums. I can nod my head at an agreeable color scheme, a pretty face on a canvas, maybe even a recreation of a landscape, but it doesn’t get much deeper than that. I often have trouble relating to pieces and finding something in them that evokes my own emotions. I see a piece, but I often lack a story. However, Judy Chicago’s “The Dinner Party” changed all that. “The Dinner Party” filled a hole in me that I didn’t realize was there and gave strength to emotional muscles I didn’t even know I had.

Today, many people are very uncomfortable with hearing the word “vagina”, much less seeing a visual representation of one. However, Chicago’s 1979 piece pushed everyone out of that comfort zone by boldly making the yonnic imagery in her art obvious and undeniable. Chicago had been creating feminist art long before “The Dinner Party”, but as she was trying to get settled and accepted in the art community, she made the imagery much less obvious. However, the social change of the 70s inspired Chicago to create this piece and show the world how beautiful and powerful the female anatomy can be. There are thirty nine place settings at the table (and 99 names on the floor) representing women whose stories had been lost in mainstream history. Each place setting features a chalice, cutlery and an elaborately, uniquely designed plate. The designs on the plates and the matching placemats embodied each women’s skills, talents, creativity and individuality.

As a female, it was extremely empowering to see non-sexualized images of female anatomy. I didn’t realize that I had never seen images of the female body accompanied with such messages of strength and beauty. I had never witnessed such overt yonnic images either. There are many phallic images in art and even media, but yonnic images seem to be much more taboo and hidden. The paradoxical views of the feminine form came to me then, as I realized that the feminine form is simultaneously hypersexualized and shamed. I enjoyed Chicago’s unapologetic and direct representation of the forms and felt proud of what I saw. I saw not just a vessel for a child, or a factory for someone else’s pleasure, but a true work of art, a form of function, complexity, beauty and uniqueness. Experiencing Judy Chicago’s “The Dinner Party” has forever changed the way I look at art as well as my own body. I realize now that art has the power to stir up shared emotions and that my body is its own work of art, purposeful, distinct and irreplaceable in its form.

All pictures are of Judy Chicago’s ‘The Dinner Party’ at the Brooklyn Museum of Art.

The Feminist Camp conference has helped me truly understand the impact that passion and dedication can have on entire communities. Prior to the conference, I had failed to realize the actual amount of hours of unnoticed effort, rejection, and setbacks involved in social justice projects, as well as their impact on individuals. I had glorified success and the end result, without appreciating the exhausting amount of years that people have put into society simply to improve the lives of others in our patriarchal system. After the incredible week in New York City, I feel informed and ready to take on the bigotry, discrimination, and political obstacles currently existing in the U.S. This is a heavy statement, but it is something I can now confidently say to myself tell myself and others. We have met leaders who have created projects, apps, companies, and organizations based on ideas and fields they weren’t even experts in. All these amazing people wanted to do was to help others, and they were willing to go beyond what they’ve known and were familiar with. They had pushed themselves and their peers to contribute to the equality movement, and used all the resources they had to make their vision practical and impactful. This included networking, learning, asking others for help, not apologizing, drinking coffee, drinking margaritas, meditating, finding solace from loved ones, and never ceasing their efforts.

One woman in particular had altered my perspective drastically. Reshma Saujani. Founder of Girls Who Code, spoke to us during the STEM day portion of the conference. She was the first Indian American woman to run for U.S Congress, had served as Deputy Public Advocate for N.YC, and ran for Public Advocate a few years back. Despite being an incredible woman with several political accomplishments and other attained objectives, the biggest emphasis she had made was not on how to succeed, but on how to fail. She had failed and been rejected more times than I think one could mentally handle; but instead of seeing herself as a “failure” and giving up on her beliefs and efforts, she chose to use failure as a powerful tool. She proved all my fears wrong. She took the rejection and failure, gave herself a fixed amount of time to process it, then continued on fighting for those that needed it. Because of her perseverance and strength, she is one of the most incredible people I have ever met, without exaggeration. She had helped me understand that failure is something we have created as a concept, and it is something that I can process differently. I can view it in a toxic, self-destructive sense, or I can define failure my own way and use it to help as many people as I can.

The three biggest characteristics that every leader shared was fervor, persistence, and adaptability. These leaders have also confirmed one of the concepts we’ve read about and discussed: leadership. There is our good-old-fashioned hierarchical version that favors extraverts, emphasizes dominance, lack of emotions, etc., and then there is the feminist form leadership. In this form, everyone shares responsibility, is valued, is listened to, and shares equal respect for each other. The emphasis is not on the one leader and top-down approach, but on the regard for intersectionality, and an entire group’s collaboration and effort. I hope to use the Feminist Camp leaders’ traits as well as the more inclusive and effective form of leadership to create lasting change in the communities of which I am a part of. Overall, with the leaders and organizations I’ve had the honor and privilege of getting to meet, I have no excuse not to pursue my aspirations- no matter how scary or idealistic they seem. The most impactful social justice related work will inevitably involve stagnation, a lack of cooperation among politicians and citizens, and hindrances that will all affect our emotions, especially when we become truly invested in our cause. The women we met had showed us that passion and taking advantage of any resources possible will add to the collective effort of social, political, and economic equality. Karina Garcia, who will be pictured after this blog, is one of these incredible women. She was unbelievable, and unstoppable. You could seriously feel her soul fully dedicated to social justice. She works with people from places so poor and small that they aren’t even located on Google Maps. She was a prime example of how the right mindset can help you survive all the obstacles you’re bound to face when trying to end oppression. The women she works with are creative, think outside of the system, use their voice, and work with what they have to create positive change. She really helped me appreciate emotion and passion as a legitimate tool in a cause, and not a hindrance.

Above left: The same chocolate, shape of egg, and design- yet they still needed to separate it. Above right: Karina Garcie from National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health. One of the most passionate people you could meet. Job: Education Manager.

Above: The walls of the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health!

The majority of Feminist Camp was vocationally focused. We visited many organizations, both those that claimed a feminist title and those that held feminist values, including Choices, the Center for Reproductive Rights, TheMuse.com, Feminist Press, VICE, The Brooklyn Museum: Women in the Arts exhibit, and Democracy Now.These organizations offered insights on how to find, target, and get a job in a justice-oriented business. What I took away from this camp was not only empowerment, but also the ability to market my abilities in résumés, emails, and interviews.

Seeing the ‘Dinner Party’ by Judy Chicago at the Brooklyn Museum of Art

At VICE for a showing of WOMAN

At TheMuse.com specifically, we had a session specifically on how to market experiences and write convincing resumes. We were educated on how to get a sense of what a company environment is like and that work-life balance is a possibility. Some companies even value it! The networking that resulted from coming into contact with all of these companies was priceless and gave me the resources necessary for starting off in the workforce after college.

Resume consulting at TheMuse.com

Coming back from Feminist Camp I feel more prepared for my future after college. I am empowered to take initiative, and now I have the knowledge and resources to affect change. Now that I am back at Rollins, I am more informed on what injustices exist and where I can begin. As a co-president for Voices for Women, the feminist organization here on campus, I am putting on a production of the Vagina Monologues. This will educate and engage members of our community on a spectrum of female experiences and issues. The cost of tickets for this event will be donated to Harbor House of Central Florida. Furthermore, tampons and pads will be accepted as an alternate to paying an entrance fee. These donations will go to the Lowell Correctional Institution in Ocala, FL. Once Vagina Monologues is finished, I will lead a tampon and pad drive as a way of continuing service

My most anticipated day from Feminist Camp was by far the media day. As a Communications major as well as Theatre Arts and Sexuality, Women’s, and Gender Studies double minor, the media day focused on everything that I love in many forms, and I eagerly awaited that Thursday morning to look in depth at where my future may be.