Finding my Confidence <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I almost quit music this year because of how unhappy I\u2019ve been feeling about it. In one last attempt to revive my interest, I decided to attend this workshop. The first night of conducting was a disaster. I could sense the frustration and concern emanating from all corners of the room \u2013 my mind was fixated on this instead of the music. I knew that I was barely even conducting. Towards the end of the fifteen-minute session, Markand Thakar (Music Director of the Baltimore Chamber Orchestra) said to me: \u201cThis is supposed to be fun.\u201d Those words hit me so hard as I struggled to keep the tears down and prayed for my first session to be over. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next morning, I was prepared to forgive myself for another difficult session and to keep my chin up. That afternoon changed my life. I swear I almost dropped my salad when Markand looked at me from across the room and proclaimed his advice in front of everyone. I needed confidence, he said. He explained that according to a social psychologist named Amy Cuddy, you can manipulate the body to change the mind. This new approach to confidence was to \u201cfake it \u2018til you make it.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For years, I\u2019ve been trying to overcome my self-sabotaging insecurities through reasoning with myself. But finally, I learned an additional remedy to my circular thinking… or for once, any overthinking at all. Before the evening session, I went to my hotel room and did some \u201cpower poses.\u201d Then I danced to the next session\u2019s piece alone in the room. That night, I stepped up to the podium and said: \u201cHello, I am the World\u2019s Greatest Conductor.\u201d The players laughed, but the trick worked. I\u2019ve never had so much fun. From now on, I think I will keep faking it. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Finding my Confidence I almost quit music this year because of how unhappy I\u2019ve been feeling about it. In one last attempt to revive my interest, I decided to attend this workshop. The first night of conducting was a disaster. I could sense the … Continue reading