“And because almost all forms of joy are fleeting, pleasure must eventually lead to loss, no matter how small – a loss that brings with it the certain knowledge that everything passes.”
- Susan Griffin
Even before I left the States for my study abroad adventure, I wasn’t entirely keen on the aspect of a breadth of travel experiences while in Australia. Everywhere I turned, the advice from parents, advisors, travel bloggers alike, all suggested that I invest in a travel guide book which would give me insight on all of the best travel destinations in the country. Part of me did feel a shallow tug in my chest, that if I didn’t experience everything possible, that I would be letting everyone back home down. To deny them photographs or philosophical musings on the outback, kangaroos, and the Sydney Opera house would be depriving many people back home of the adventure that they crave, but may only ever experience through someone else. Although these adventures sound amazing, to experience them in solitude is to experience them on paper.
My best friend from back home told me once that I’m the type of person who likes to “put down roots” wherever I am, integrating myself into new landscapes, interacting with flora and fauna abounding. The diverse and intimate relationships that I forge here add exponential richness to my experience, tethering every moment and memory to another soul with whom I share it. To travel here, only riding along the surface, is to exist as a foreigner. To embed yourself in the social fabric, integrating yourself with the nuances and the richness of the people here, is to exist within the community.
As lovely as this appears, to render this visage as perfect neglects the various complexities that accompany transplanting myself here. After all, once I am done, I must transplant myself once again into that familiar landscape back home. Although I am not there yet, I anticipate, as with any experience of leaving, that uprooting myself from Newcastle will not be a painless experience. Integrating yourself into a new place leaves your roots susceptible to tangling, getting caught on rocks, and stretching down far deeper than anticipated, creating a far more laborious process when the time comes that you must leave. I am sure that the cavity that I leave here will quickly be weathered away, but I suspect that these roots will never forget the richness of this soil.
Earlier this weekend, I was convinced, despite my desire to integrate myself into this community and into the relationships that sprout here, that the pain of tearing myself away from Newcastle was reason enough to abstain from achieving that desire. That my own pain of loss and separation was enough to deter exploring the vast terrain of relationships presented before me. For a moment I was comfortable in this decision that excused only superficial intimacies, until I came upon this quote:
“And because almost all forms of joy are fleeting, pleasure must eventually lead to loss, no matter how small – a loss that brings with it the certain knowledge that everything passes.”
At first this meant that I should explore these relationships and my community because every friendship, in one way or another, will end. However, as I entertained this quote I realized my own misunderstanding with relationships: to invest only in exchanges that provide you pleasure, or to be concerned only with your own pain, neglects the other parties in the equation. I shouldn’t feel the need to only invest in human interaction because those interactions feed into my own enjoyment, but rather I should invest in others because they are worth exploration and intimacy. Every individual that I interact with exists outside of my experience and holds within themselves an entire universe of experiences, beliefs, and complexities that are deserving of exploration. Sure, the interactions may be short lived, disintegrating upon my departure, but the joy of experience should not concern itself with the loss of experience, but rather with the beauty of that moment.
Until Next Time….